how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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