I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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