nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
