Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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