Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize