I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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