That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
