Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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