Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
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