I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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