Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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