We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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