Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
