So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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