so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
this boner is exhausting
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Randomize
