dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
