worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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