By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
