I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
