Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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