you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
