I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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