Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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