two words: eviction party
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
