just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
