I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
