Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
