; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
