I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize