If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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