my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I would ride that face into the sunset
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
