My nipple is on Facebook.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
