i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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