you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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