dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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