ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
