He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
