no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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