And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
