fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
