thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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