Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
