You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
