Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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