I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
