Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
