you thought your balls were fighting each other...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
