at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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