I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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