This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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