Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I want a musical about memes.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
