i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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