he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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