and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
