I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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