dude i'm inner monologue high
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
