Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
