I must be too annoying 4 u.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
