my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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