I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
