Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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