Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
