i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
