Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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