well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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