So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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