I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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