"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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