Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It all started with a game of naked twister.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
