i just google imaged poop.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
