I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
