I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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