i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
