remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
