Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
